Yes. I'm Writing a Diary

1 Januari 2013

Taun baru yah? Yaampun...

Aku mau bikin pengakuan.

I don't exactly know what's going on with me. Tapi dua malem belakangan ini aku kayak bukan aku.

Aku berada dalam lingkaran aneh yang memaksaku untuk melakukan hal-hal yang aku sendiri pun tahu, tidak mau kulakukan.

Kemarin malam tahun baru. Aku udah komitmen ga akan ada perayaan dan apapun lah pokoknya.

Then, my mom asked me to accompany her to watch a fashion show in a hotel. Actually I'd love if I could stay peacfully at home but, yeah... I would never let my mom watch by herself.

So, yeah I agreed.

When we're about to go, I have worn my nicest gamis and the longest hijab I hace, she said that... there was a dresscode, you know. We had to look like a hollywood star.

Then, one of the horror-est mistaken I made was changing all those syar'i costume into... Idk. I can't even describe myself. I looked like an amateur-hijab-modificator.

I was surrounded by a very loud music. People around me was like people wearing mini dresses and high heels.

So horrible.

I felt like I was wasting my time.

Today, it's 10 p.m, you know. I'm here. In the middle of karaoke room. Light off, TV screen seems brighter than usual. My mom and her crew dancing like they don't even remember they're 41, not 14.

I miss my home, I will always do.

Tommorow I will have my business back. Hopefully, I would be the strongest, the healthy, that-all-possitive-things-that-will-be-needed-by-me.

It's a new year, isn't it? 

New Year, New Spirit.

"Dont look back just to see the horrible you. Don't look back just to say their bad things they ever done in front of their face."

Trust me, you never know how hard they tried to forget it all, how hard they tried to be the better them.

Don't hurt them.

Best Regards,

Pedofil Zida 

(PS : It's my first post in 2014, doain aku sering nge post yaaa)